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Welcome to canadianguy.org... "south of the border since 2000" Last Edited 03/06/2006 01:57:30 Dubya's Off the Wagon!! posted 12.27.05
It's been a bad year for the President. Secret prisons, hurricane Katrina, Cindy Sheehan and Harriet Miers, 2005 is a year President Bush would probably like to forget...which is why ole' Georgie is back on the sauce. Like the old saying goes, when you don't want to think, it's time for a drink" or at least I think that's an old saying....no wait...I think I might have just made that one up...either way...the point is he's drinkin' again. (video here ) We WON!!! Now Off With MY BALLS!! posted 11.15.05
My faith in humanity is weaning. Some British dude (31-year-old Geoffrey Huish) who was expecting his favorite rugby team to lose, told his buddy that he'd cut his crown-jewels off if the team actually won their match. Listening to the game on the radio at his home, Huish soon learned that his team had indeed won the game. Keeping to his word, he walked into his bathroom after the rugby match ended and picked up a pair of wire cutters and performed his own surgery. Of course the cutters were dull, so it took a little longer than expected to extract his precious love-grapes. Anyway, after he was finished, he bagged up his nuts, and took them down to the local pub to show his friends and fellow rugby fans, where he collapsed from blood loss a few minutes later. Now I'd say that a guy like that sure has a lotta balls for pulling something like that but...wait for it....wait for it...but he has NO BALLS!!! Seriously... he doesn't...the doctors couldn't reattach them. Poor bastard. visit Evgeni-Malkin-Fansite.com for all news that is young hockey phenom Evgeni Malkin
Don't Eat Your Clothes! posted 10.20.05
An Australian woman has died of severe burns after removing her clothes from a microwave oven. Apparently the nightgown she was wearing caught on fire as she was taking her freshly-nuked clothes out of the microwave. The police who attended the scene believe she was merely trying to dry her clothing, but I'm not convinced that their rendition of the events are accurate. Have they even tried a cotton-sandwich? It's to die for. 92-Year-Old-Man Accused of Sexual Assault posted 08.25.05
Louis Napoleon, a 92-year-old retired doctor, allegedly sexually assaulted a women in her sixties at a nursing home in Scott Township, Pennsylvania. (insert Viagra comment here) Mr. Napoleon is now facing charges of indecent assault and aggravated indecent assault. Although canadianguy feels for the victim and certainly doesn't condone this type of behavior, it should be noted that this man is from an era when no really did mean yes. (cue barrage of kicks to canadianguy's testicles from angry feminists) No Mo Eminem? posted 08.18.05
It was short, but it was sweet. Eminem is finally calling it a day and ending his public life so he can better focus on raising his daughter. All of this not even 10 years after he found his claim to fame and fortune. Canadianguy has to respect the man for not dragging his career out like so many other less-talented artists. At least this guy is going to go out on top, and you have to admire that. After retiring at the ripe old age of age of 32, I wonder what his next step in life will be. His retirement will most likely consist of charter bus trips with other senior citizens to various casinos, and sight-seeing venues around the country. It's been a long, and arduous haul Slim Shady; enjoy your twilight years and distant green pastures. You've definitely earned them. Edit 08.19.05 - Well I guess Marshall may not be retiring as of yet. Now the word is that he is being hospitalized for an addiction to sleeping pills. Makes sense because senior citizens are notorious for poor sleeping habits. In any case, get well soon Slim. More to come.... I'm Goin' to the Moon! posted 08.11.05
A company that goes by the name Space Adventures Ltd, claims that by 2008, it will be able to provide ordinary citizens like you and I with the trip of a lifetime, a voyage around the moon and back. And what would be the asking price for such an adventure? Oh, only about 100 million dollars. Sounds to me like Space Adventures Ltd has an exceptional business plan except when you consider that there are only about 1000 people on earth that have that kind of dough; not to mention that 90% of those people would be too damn old to even survive the liftoff. So that leaves a potential market of what, about 100 people? Yeah...I'm almost positive that every single one of those 100 would love the chance to pay the $100 million, because as we all know, the 2 things that filthy-rich-people desire more than anything else are: dark, and rock, which is essentially what they'd be getting. The moral of the story? Don't invest in Space Adventures Ltd stock unless you're into losing your money. Legit Online Headshop...check it out & help keep canadianguy.org online!
Mike Tyson a Porn Star? posted 08.05.05
The always-crazy, and somehow always-broke Mike Tyson is apparently exploring his options now that his boxing career is over. (silly me, I thought it was over about 5 years ago) What are ya gonna do next Mike? Manage up-and-coming boxers? No? Okay, what about becoming a boxing promoter? Ixnay on that? Alright then, how about getting a job as a ringside commentator? Naa...not Mr. Mike Tyson. He'd rather get into some of that hardcore porn instead. Probably that real violent stuff too...you know, the kind where the guys throw the women around and call them really vulgar names and what-not. Oh well, I guess you can't really blame the careerless maniac though. Just like my Dad used to always tell me... "When it comes to workin'...you just have to do what you know." Superman Stuntman Hurt posted 07.28.05
Christopher Sayour, a stuntman from the TV series Smallville, was badly injured after a fall during filming of the show, and remains in a Vancouver hospital in serious condition. Poor guy sustained multiple fractures and internal injuries after the 37-foot fall. I sincerely hope the dudes okay, but at the same time I have to wonder, where the hell was Superman during all of this? And can somebody please explain to me why Superman feels the need for a stunt double? What, was there a bag of kryptonite on the set that rendered you useless? Well...regardless Superman, let's just say that I'm very disappointed in you...very disappointed. No More Smoking While Driving? posted 07.26.05
Legislators in Mr. Anthony Soprano's home state of New Jersey will vote on a no-smoking-while-driving bill later this year. If caught, offenders would have to pay a $250 fine. Although the bill isn't expected to pass, it is generating some controversy among smokers and non-smokers alike. Controversy, shhmontoversy... I think it's great that some members of government want full involvement in our lives. It shows that they really care....(sigh)...government....what would we all do without you? For canadianguy news archives click here Webmasters, check out my Link Exchange page and email me if you'd like to be added. Help keep canadianguy.org free. Visit my sponsors! |
